Andrew Powell
Superhero Name: Lungzilla
[Backstory: By day, Andrew Powell hauls cargo across the GTA in his mighty 18-wheeler — The Decibull. His truck’s horn plays the first four notes of Highway to Hell. He just wanted open roads, loud tunes, and truck-stop chili that wouldn’t fight back. But fate had other ideas.
One stormy night, somewhere between New Tecumseth and Collingwood, Andrew’s GPS went haywire. A powerful magnetic force pulled his rig off course—one that pulsed perfectly in time with Rebel Yell on his Spotify playlist.
He followed the signal into the woods… and there, hidden in a field of fog and neon mushrooms, stood a glowing 1980s tour trailer among the fallen trees. Inside was a magical microphone humming with supernatural frequency. When Andrew touched it, the trailer lit up like a stadium encore.
Suddenly, every vocal coach from Motown to Metallica whispered secrets into his brain. He became a warrior with 2,400 horsepower in his throat and diesel in his veins. He can silence bar fights with a single note and once accidentally made a raccoon slow dance with a traffic cone.
Despite being a superhero, he continues his big rig travels. He recently triggered spontaneous crowd-surfing while humming All The Small Things in line at Tim Hortons.
Catchphrase: “Evil beware—this hero runs on rock, rage, and whatever’s on tap.”
Superpowers:
1. Crazy Train Combat Mode: When he screams “ALL ABOARD!”, he temporarily becomes faster than a bullet train and twice as loud. His fists punch in 6/8 time, and any villain within range hears a phantom guitar solo from Randy Rhoads before passing out.
2. Tom Petty Tenacity: Refuses to back down — even when outnumbered and outgunned.
3. Ring of Fire Field: Summons a circle of musical flame around himself. Harmful to enemies, but to fans, it smells like whiskey, heartbreak, and barbecue. Often triggered after emotional choruses or spicy tacos.
4. Let’s Dance Disarming Aura: Any time Bowie’s groove activates in his bloodstream, enemies are forced into synchronized dance-offs against their will. It’s funky. It’s confusing. It works.
5. 500-Mile Pursuit Power: Can chase villains for exactly 500 miles (and 500 more), with no drop in vocal stamina. The closer he gets, the louder his harmonies echo through alleyways.
6. Blister Blast: When he shouts “Let me go WILD!” his voice emits a concussive sonic wave that smells faintly of teen spirit and questionable decisions. Enemies recoil; old punks cheer.
7. Jessie’s Radar: His sixth sense for melodrama kicks in—he can detect forbidden love triangles, awkward exes, or mid-set relationship arguments in a 3km radius. He always knows where Jessie is and who she’s with.
8. Rebel Yell Rage Boost: When he screams "MORE! MORE! MORE!" he gets a full adrenaline boost. Speed, power, and shirtless intensity increase by 300%. Hair volume triples. Beer chugs itself.
9. Fights for Your Right: Empowers civilians around him to instantly join the cause. Crowds of mild-mannered accountants become beer-wielding backup dancers. Bureaucracy falls. The punch is spiked. Democracy becomes a mosh pit.
His kryptonite: Monitor feedback – So high-pitched, it summons local marine life. Can only be stopped with a whale apology.
Anthony Starcevic
Superhero Name: Captain A-Star
Backstory: By day, Anthony Starvevic is a mild-mannered Senior Consultant at a mysterious firm rumored to advise both Fortune 500s and rebel fleets. They claim to specialize in “strategic synergy development,” but mainly produce dramatic PowerPoint decks with arrows pointing toward vague "galactic outcomes." His daily grind involves decrypting data patterns and avoiding Zoom calls like they’re asteroid fields.
His superhero transformation began one fateful night during a classified off-world assignment in the Outer Rim — disguised as a “Leadership Synergy Retreat.”. Stranded after a hyperspace miscalculation (he swore he followed the PowerPoint deck), Anthony crash-landed on a frozen moon orbiting a binary star. There, in the blinding light of twin auroras, he encountered a lone figure: C-3PO, babbling warnings about “an unacceptable probability of sonic implosion.”
C-3PO held a gold Dusenberg guitar, shimmering with galactic resonance. He explained it had once belonged to a long-lost Jedi known as Shreddius Maximus, who believed that true harmony could defeat the dark side through overdrive, vibrato, and brisk fingerpicking. Anthony reached out. The moment his fingers touched the fretboard, a brilliant power chord rang out — shaking the ground, parting the clouds, and knocking C-3PO over with a “Oh dear!”
The power of a thousand hammer-ons surged through Anthony's veins. Thus, Captain A-Star was born!
C-3PO’s parting words:
“Master Starcevic… do remember to tune it. Galactic harmony depends on it.”
Captain A-Star now roams the Earth (and occasionally low orbit), fighting crime, bad vibes, and his arch nemesis - the evil accordion player, Count Chromatica – The Squeezer of Souls.
Catchphrase: "I fight for your right to party… and your right to order a full rack of ribs, every time!"
Superpowers:
1. Walkabout Wailer
With his wireless unit engaged, Captain A-Star can solo across entire city blocks — from rooftops to food trucks — without losing signal or dignity. Bonus: can hijack nearby Bluetooth and Wi-Fi signals through his wireless unit to intercept all enemy communications and switch all villain earbuds to new country.
2. Taps of Justice
Channels the raw power of the Millennium Falcon, Eddie Van Halen, and space caffeine. The result? Shredding at speeds that stun enemies and cook nearby sausages.
3. Balkan Scale Hypnosis
Unleashes ancient minor scale licks that confuse, mesmerize, and cause enemies to spontaneously confess to unsolved crimes.
4. Cable of the Gods
Uses his guitar cable as a grappling whip to trip foes, scale buildings, or pull snacks from vending machines at a distance.
5. Force Slide
Inspired by Jedi mind tricks — one smooth slide across the neck causes enemies to believe they're in a backstage meet-and-greet with Alex Lifeson.
6. Lightsaber Lick
His pick glows with neon fury as he rips a solo so sharp it can slice through steel, lies, and outdated stage gear.
7. Space Ace Cosmic Lift
Anthony unleashes an Ace Frehley falsetto-bend combo that literally levitates him off the stage while villains disintegrate into fog machine residue.
8. Pickup Selector Slam
Switching to bridge pickup activates Blazing Mode — scorching hot solos that incinerate evil. Neck pickup? Smooth jazz distracts villains into a false sense of groove-based security.
9. The Croatian Crunch
Unleashes a riff so rooted in Croatian rhythms that even the most chaotic crowds fall into tight formation and synchronized foot stomps.
Special wireless utility belt: “The Signal Slinger” - A sleek, chrome-plated utility belt that glows with righteous LED fury every time it locks onto a signal — powered by a combination of alien tech, vintage tube amp magic, and leftover USB dongles. The belt glows green when synced to his guitar, red when danger is near, and purple when someone shouts “Free Bird.” It includes a retractable snack clip that holds a mini packet of emergency ribs. Because justice runs on barbecue.
Kryptonite: Breaking the high E-string mids-solo, throwing him into a spiral of existential dread and tone anxiety. He must frantically ask the nearest bystander if they “happen to have a spare set of .008s.” Crime fighting pauses until resolved.
Paul Rivet
Superhero Name: Thunderfoot
Backstory: By day, Paul bides his time as a project manager, living a life of spreadsheets, scrum boards, and “circling back.” But everything changed the day he was bitten by a radioactive metronome during a lunch-hour jam session at a haunted jazz club in Ottawa.
The metronome’s ticking fused with Paul’s rhythm, unlocking ancient percussive powers that had long been dormant in humanity’s DNA. That night, he slipped off his shoes, freeing his bare feet to channel raw groove energy.
From that day forward, he became Thunderfoot — protector of the groove, defender of tempo, and the only superhero whose battle cry is “One-two-three-FOUR!”
And that day job? He now occasionally uses his powers to drum sense into poorly scoped deliverables. He once eliminated an entire backlog by doing a 7/8-time signature paradiddle presentation that made the VP cry tears of efficiency.
Catchphrase: “Justice hits on the one.”
Superpowers:
1. Beat-Based Telekinesis: Everything moves to the rhythm of his drumming. A bank robber trying to escape quickly when Thunderfoot starts a slow groove? Not a chance!
2. Metronome Immunity: NASA once used his timing to recalibrate satellites.
3. Infinite Stick Summon: Can conjure drumsticks of all shapes and sizes from thin air. He once summoned a pair the size of telephone poles.
4. Hi-Hats of Justice: His cymbals emit sonic shockwaves that disarm villains, clear mosh pits, and occasionally steam vegetables.
5. Polyrhythmic Defense Field: Generates a rotating barrier of complex rhythms that deflect bullets, lasers, and bad jokes.
6. Drum-Fu: Rather than inflicting pain on his enemies, this ancient technique utilizes a flurry of stick swirls to befuddle foes and friends alike.
7. Rimshot Ricochet : A perfectly timed rimshot can bounce around corners and knock out three henchmen and a latte in midair.
8. Snare of Truth: His snare buzzes uncontrollably when villains lie. It’s basically a polygraph with brass lugs.
9. Barefoot Bounce: The more he drums barefoot, the stronger he gets. It’s unclear why. Science gave up trying to explain it in 2019.
His kryptonite: Flimsy band stage banners - no one knows why, but vinyl backdrops on wobbly stands short-circuit his powers. He once lost a fight to a gust of wind and a poorly secured band banner in Thornhill. It still haunts him.
Clarence Poirier
Superhero Name: The Bassassin
Backstory: By day, Clarence toils as a cranky marketing research analyst, crunching data, decoding brand trends, and silently judging everyone’s Spotify Wrapped.
Clarence’s powers were awakened one fateful night as he practiced bass while simultaneously eating a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie and adjusting his insulin pump. A freak lightning bolt struck his pedalboard, imbuing him with the force of a thousand Ampeg 8x10s. Thus began his double life of data and decibels.
Once the sun sets and darkness creeps in, he transforms into The Basssassin — the groove-powered guardian of the underground, master of the bottom end, and sworn enemy of breaded snacks.
Fueled by cookies. Driven by justice. Powered by the groove.
Catchphrase: ““Serving justice with low-end fury—right after I find my damn keys.”
Superpowers:
1. Fingerstyle Fury: His fingers move faster than fashion trends at a Duran Duran concert. Each pluck summons a ghostly fist bump from John Entwistle.
2. Mid-Range Hypnosis: His perfectly sculpted midrange tone causes enemies to freeze in place, stare at their shoes, and question their life choices.
3. Pick Throw Precision: He can whip a bass pick like a ninja star, instantly turning enemy eyeliner into raccoon smears.
3. The Chorus Cloud: Can surround himself with an aura of bass chorus so lush, so dreamy, enemies forget what year it is.
5. Roundwound Ripper: His strings double as whips of justice. They squeak just enough to make villains flinch.
6. Drop D Detonator: With a flick of the tuning peg, he drops to D and drops jaws — shaking buildings, bridges, and keyboardists’ egos.
7. The Compression Field: Summons a sonic forcefield with perfect dynamic balance, repelling all attacks louder than -6dB.
8. Overdrive Overlord: Can produce bass lines so saturated, they melt enemy sunglasses and explode cheap car stereos.
9. Cookie Power-Up: Every gluten-free cookie consumed grants a temporary strength boost and turns his bass notes into pure plasma
Kryptonite: Drunken callouts from the audience to “slappa da bass”, activating his emergency protocol: deep sigh, fake laugh, and a sudden need to check his pedalboard for no reason.